edward.
HE FEEDS UNTIL her scent doesn’t BURN through his system – slaughters another doe for EXTRA measure. he goes ALONE, gives esme more ANXIETY over it, until he returns home, still wiping the GORE from his mouth, to CHANGE. passes his mother to BRUSH his fingers across her cheek and hear her quiet rush of RELIEF bloom across her mind. there’s no SMILE to offer, he’s still too BROKEN, but he nods SHARPLY before changing out of his clothes, washing out his mouth.
he DRIVES to her – what else can he do? what else SHOULD he do? that she came at ALL instills the idea that bella swan is the bravest, and STUPIDEST, human to exist. he LOVES her more than anything in this entire, DROWNING world. charlie isn’t home, and he’s GRATEFUL for it. one thing less to ACHE over, the lack of ACCEPTANCE from her father burns just as much as her OWN. he parks, sits for five WHOLE minutes before going to her door. no WINDOWS these days. when did he ever have the right to THAT?
and he KNOCKS.
charlie doesn’t know the half of it —- she gets by with a subtle LIE about passing through town to see him; unsure of how long she’ll stay at this point. the echoing pain in her chest had grown above her skin, and her dad – questionably – notices the exhaustion painted onto her features. but CHARLIE IS CHARLIE; he doesn’t hover. goes to his shift quietly, while bella sits on her old, creaky bed and traces pale fingers over relevant passages in her collection of books. by the time she gets to wuthering heights and reads,
“ my love for heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. he’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than i am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. “
she doesn’t resist crying quietly to herself for the DAMAGE she has done —- and not just for the love she has lost, but for the parts of HERSELF that have gone missing all in her feeble attempts. A KNOCK AT THE DOOR sends her jolting to her feet; it could only be one person, right ?? IT HAD TO BE. she pats tissues on her cheeks in desperation to hide her sorrow, and hops down the stairs so fast she almost FALLS AND BREAKS A LEG —- and opens the door to the sight of him ;; she’s so irrevocably floored, her speech ROBBED —- she wonders even if she did prepare for these things, was this just edward, with his consistent capability of taking her breathe away ??
❛ h—hey, ❜ she hiccups, cursing herself for the GIVEAWAY. ❛ i’m, ah ——- you can. come in, if you want. ❜ she has the strong urge to begin apologizing; will that ever go away? ❛ i’m sorry, – ❜ she begins, ❛ for. showing up like that. ❜
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