you’re wrong.

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            HER EMBRACE IS something of a BALM to his rattled nerves. the whole of his being LOOSENS for just a moment she is HIS and he is HERS and this will ALWAYS be so, NOTHING will take this from him. edward allows himself her TOUCH, her COMFORT ;; but he cannot RECONCILE her words with what he knows and feels. he pulls AWAY, crosses some steps to keep himself APART ( and is this not a PERFECT reflection? edward APART ;; his exclusion is ROUTINE, has always been so – edward and the CULLENS, edward and HUMANS, edward and his FAMILY )i remember a boy running WILLINGLY into the arms of a man that i have ALWAYS despised and calling him FATHER. here, he FACES her, features DEVOID of his desperation. he grasps for DESOLATION because he is TERRIFIED of feeling. “ he doesn’t want ME. he wants HIM. and i i WON’T stand in the way of that. i won’t take him away from THEM like they took him from US. i am not LIKE them. i REFUSE to be. i’m his FATHER. but he is NOT my SON.

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       for a moment, she has to consider how deeply this runs —- edward, having known the volturi for longer than she. edward, having LOVED with all his heart only to see his role replaced by someone for who his hate runs SO DEEP. bella’s hate for caius is scalding blinding, immobilizing. maybe she’s underestimating edward’s hurt.  but thinking about it again, as edward’s words SINK IN —-  she doesn’t see the justification for him to GIVE UP like this.        ❛ he was OURS FIRST. what the hell do you MEAN, you’re not like them?? they had NO FUCKING RIGHT.  —— when YOU left me, and jacob filled your place and i began to love him, did you say ‘ i won’t be like that. i’m giving up. ‘ – NO YOU DIDN’T. ❜    she knows she’s being harsh – maybe borderline irrational. she still hasn’t grasped his DISMISSAL. she sobs, between her words.    ❛ you’re letting them WIN. i don’t —– ❜   her fingers catch in her hair as she begins to pace. she has a strong desire to break everything around her, and it takes ALL HER STRENGTH to not do so.    ❛ maybe i was stupid for thinking we could be happy. that i could be happy, ❜   she mutters,    ❛ god, WHY ARE YOU LETTING THEM RUIN THIS ——– what are you even saying, i don’t ——— ❜       what an oddity it is to be so riddled with anxiety, as a vampire; no longer does her body respond, only her mind becomes scattered. she’s TRAPPED in it.    she takes a seat to stop herself from moving back and forth, though she isn’t prepared to see his reaction to her emotional cluster.    ❛  – i’m sorry. i’m SORRY. ❜   she begins as her face falls into her hands.  

 
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  3. qwetrey-blog1 said: squints

BELLA SWAN

independent and selective canon divergent twilight/tvd roleplay blog for isabella swan.
mutually exclusive, multi-verse and ship. oc, crossover, and au friendly.

❛ she defies us all. ❜

written by sam.
twenty - est.
est 07/2013, revamped 11/2015. triggers will be tagged. please read rules before interacting.

❛ life is hard. ❜

draft count: 8.
message count: 0.
starter count: 0.
plotting: open.
queued: infinite.

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