edward.
SHE SAYS THESE things to HURT him, he’s very sure. the BANE of his existence, her DEMISE ( and her
DAMNATION). he wants her WHOLE and safe and alive and HAPPY. he wants her WITH him, but this is not to be and not her WISH, and he will RESPECT that ;; he SWEARS that he will, just after he assures her SAFETY, he PROMISES. she calls him MELODRAMATIC, and perhaps she is RIGHT, but he means it all the same – he WILL go, because SHE wishes it this time, not HE.she’s TIRED. he sees it, can FEEL her exhaustion. he reaches with both hands for her, as if to COMFORT, to pull her FLUSH against him. to keep her CLOSE and let her SLEEP, and he’ll take her HOME, he’ll take her BACK and they can be TOGETHER – but his hands FALL away quickly, faster than a BLINK, and he angles his body away from her to fight off the TEMPTATION.
“ – you can’t sleep in the truck, you’ll FREEZE in that dinosaur. ” any other day, he’d SMILE alongside that tease, but he doesn’t have it in him this time. he feels DEFEATED. utterly LOST. “ i’ll get you a room in the motel next door. DON’T argue, bella. ” ocher hues are shielded by pale lids, dark lashes, when he CLOSES them. “ PLEASE, ” an AFTERTHOUGHT. “ get something to eat and i’ll MEET you over there. ”
not having his protection was a prominent game-changer; if not for him, she might’ve simply died the day tyler’s car slid on ice and nearly CRUSHED her. every frail bone in her body equated to an embodiment of DANGER-PRONE. edward doesn’t want to even think of the possibility of her demise, but the likelihood of it is HEFTY and she’s more than prepared for it.
she wishes she had better explanations, better articulation – someway to say ‘ IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME ‘ without sounding like a fabricator. her knee-jerk reaction is to OBJECT to his offering, as she always had – lips part as it hangs off her tongue, before he’s already telling her not to ARGUE. and this time, she succumbs – for this being one of the last things he might ever do for her.
but she sighs. palms rub over her tired eyes as she mutters an ‘ alright ‘ and walks groggily into the mcdonalds behind her. she stands, tapping her foot – thoughts planning out her night. let edward stay in the room, too, obviously. he might not want to. ask him to. tell him.. you’re sorry. tell him you’ll be back —– no, don’t say that. don’t get his hopes up. just memorize his face. just remember what this feels like.
she does as he’s told; with a bag of food in her grip, she meets him out front the motel. ❛ – thanks. ❜ she says for the room he pays for, slightly begrudging nonetheless – still no fan of accepting gifts. ❛ will probably be easier to sleep.. i mean, my truck’s pretty great and i’m terrified of cockroaches, but at least you’re here. ❜ she doesn’t mean to sound so eager.
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